


Unwanted

by Sa1989



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-18 20:20:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29374479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sa1989/pseuds/Sa1989
Summary: My take on the Buckley's family secret
Comments: 1
Kudos: 23





	Unwanted

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own 911 and I have never lost a child but did try to do justice to the subject matter

Bobby pulled up outside of the local pub and turned off the truck's engine with a heavy sigh. He had been planning a quiet romantic evening with Athena when he received a phone call from Rob the bartender saying that one of his fire-fighters was at the bar getting pretty wasted. Bobby knew instantly that the fire-fighter in question was buck because of how stressed out the younger man had been about his parents being in town. Bobby exited his truck and headed towards the pub, once inside he was hit by the all to familiar smell of whisky and cigarettes that all bars seem to have. Once Rob saw the fire captain he pointed towards a table in the far back corner and Bobby nodded his thanks before making his way over to buck's table. As he got closer Bobby could see that buck's eyes were puffy and blood shot, a tell tale sign that buck had been crying. Bobby pulled the seat across from buck out and sat down.  
"Hey cap, what brings you here" buck asked while slurring his words.  
"Rob called, he said that you were drunk and needed someone to drive you home." Bobby answered in a concerned tone because he had never seen buck in this kind of state in the 3 years they had worked together.  
"Well Rob should mind his own business because I'm fine" buck growled in a angry voice that was unusual for him.  
"Really because you don't look fine" Bobby told him. Buck finished his beer and went to buy another but Bobby stood in his way and said "I think you have had enough."  
"Fuck you" buck snapped as his tried to push pass his boss but Bobby wasn't going to let him because Bobby knew what it was like to hide from your problems in the bottom of a bottle and he wasn't about to let buck go down that road. Buck struggled with Bobby for a couple of seconds before the fight went out of him and he collapse against the other man in exhaustion. Bobby just slid one of buck's arms over his shoulder and led him out of the bar.  
As Bobby drove home he kept checking on buck who was laid out in the back-seat. Bobby couldn't help but remember the number of times his wife Marcy had had to drag his ass out of some bar or another, Bobby had resented his wife at the time but now he knew how hard it must have been for her to do that time after time. After pulling into his driveway Bobby got out and half carried buck inside. Athena looked up from her book as Bobby entered the living room and was surprised to see the state buck was in.  
"What happened?" Athena asked in shock  
"Can you make a cuppa while I get buck settled in the guest room?" Bobby pleaded as he focused on keeping buck up right. Athena nodded and went into the kitchen.  
A while later Bobby stepped out onto the back porch and smiled gratefully as his wife handed him a cup of coffee "thanks Athena"  
"How's buckaroo?" Athena asked as Bobby sat down next to her  
"He's settled for the night" Bobby sighed as he rubbed the back of his neck  
"Care to share what happened?"  
"I honestly don't know I just got a call that buck was drunk and needed someone to pick him up. When I got there I found him he pretty much in the state you saw him in" Bobby answered honestly because he had no clue what had driven buck to drink so much  
"It's just not like him to drink to excess" Athena commented in concerned because over the years she and Bobby had grown close to buck and she view him as one of her own.  
"Yeah I know, buck has been on edge since he found out his parents were coming for a visit and I figured that they didn't have the best relationship from what little buck has said about them but after tonight I think that it's worst than I ever thought" Bobby stared into his cup of coffee guilty because it was his job to look after his team but obviously he had missed just how much buck was struggling. Athena just nodded and slid her hand into her husband's knowing this was tearing him up inside.  
Then next morning buck was surprised to find himself in Bobby's guest room because the last thing he could remember was being at the bar. Buck saw his phone on the bedside table and checked it out of habit and saw he had a number of missed calls and texts, all of which were from Maddie. Buck groaned and fell back on the bed because he wasn't ready to talk to her yet. After lying there for a couple of minutes lost in his own dark thoughts buck relized that he couldn't hide in here forever so decided to get up and face the day so he threw back the blanket and sat up. After buck was sure enough that he wasn't about to throw up, he made his way downstairs knowing that he was going to have to face Athena and Bobby.  
Athena looked up from her newspaper and said "morning buckaroo"  
"Morning Athena, I'm sorry I crashed here last night" buck said without looking at her  
"You know you're always welcome here, now sit down breakfast is nearly ready" Bobby patted buck on the shoulder  
"Thanks but I really think I should go" buck wasn't in the right mind frame to sit and make small talk, all he wanted to do was crawl into a hole and die.  
"Buck please sit down, Bobby and I are worried about you because you have been really stressed out about your parents and getting so hammed that you can't drive home isn't like you" Athena told him in a motherly tone that made him cringed because buck knew he didn't deserve her concern not after what he had learned.  
"I know and I'm sorry that I bothered you-"  
"You didn't bother us, we just want to help you" Bobby said hoping that it would convince buck to open up about what was wrong  
"You can't" buck sighed with a heavy heart  
"How do you know? maybe if you talk to us it won't be so bad" Athena was really concerned now because buck wouldn't make eye contact with either of them. Buck sat down knowing that they were not going to let him leave and he didn't have the energy to keep arguing. Bobby turned off the stove and brought the plate of pancakes over to the table and sat down. After a few minutes of eating in silence Athena asked "what happened last night that made you so upset?"  
"I found out that my parents never wanted me" buck said in a sad voice because while he suspected as much it still had hurt to hear that his parents had never loved him  
"I'm sure that's not true, any parent would be lucky to have you as a son" for Bobby any child was a gift that should never be taken for granted.  
"No it is true, they only had me for the blood from my umbilical cord" both Athena and Bobby looked confused at this statement because why would the Buckley's have another child just for cord blood.  
"I don't understand" Athena said in a kind tone  
"My parents gave Maddie a box of her old baby things and we were going through it yesterday. In it the was a photo of a boy on a bike and at first I thought it was me in the photo but turns out it was a photo of the brother who died and no one ever told me about" buck's voice grew hard with bitterness.  
"Losing a child is the worst pain in the world so maybe your parents were just to heartbroken to tell you about him" Bobby's heart went out to the Buckley's because he wouldn't wish that kind of pain on anyone  
"No they didn't tell me because it's my fault he's dead" buck looked down at the table in shame, buck didn't know how he was meant to go on with the knowledge that he had only been born to save his brother's life and had failed.  
"Maybe you should tell us the whole story" Athena encouraged knowing that whatever had happened buck wasn't responsible for his brother's death  
"I um I didn't have the best childhood, I mean while Maddie was still living with us it was okay I guess. Maddie was the one that would take care of me if I was hurt or upset because mum and dad would totally ignore me. I mean they would only spend time with me if I was with Maddie otherwise they couldn't be bothered. But when Maddie left for college, there was no one to take care of me, don't get me wrong they still fed and clothed me but that was it, hell they never even hugged me or tucked me into bed at night. Most of the time they were off living their lives and I was left home alone, sometimes they would be gone for days at a time and wouldn't even leave me anyway to contact them." Buck told Bobby and Athena with tears in his eyes.  
"Oh buckaroo that's awful, what they did was neglect and it's a crime" Athena felt so angry at the Buckley's because as a police officer she had seen this kind of thing before and knew that neglecting a child like that could leave emotional scars which lasted a lifetime  
"Anyway I tried so hard to be the perfect son, I got good grades and never made any trouble because I thought if I was perfect then they would love me" buck confessed before falling silent  
"No children should have to earn their parents love" growled Bobby in anger while shaking his head in disbelief.  
"Yeah well at least now I know that they didn't love me because I failed to save Daniel" buck was still struggling to process what Maddie had told him but a small part of him was glad to know the truth because it meant he could stop hoping for something that would never come, his parent's love.  
"So what actually happened to your brother?" Athena questioned  
"Maddie said that Daniel was diagnosed not long after his 6th birthday with a aggressive form of Leukaemia, my parents did everything they could like chemotherapy and radiation therapy but nothing worked. The had almost given up hope but then a doctor told them that the stem cells from cord blood could offer Daniel a cure. So my parents went to a ivf specialist and had me but after I was born the doctors checked my cord blood and found that the stem cell count was too low. There wasn't anything anyone could do for Daniel and he died a couple of months later" buck's voice was almost a whispered by the time he finished. Athena reached over the table and took buck's hand because what he had told them was so awful her heart broke both for buck and his parents and she couldn't find any words of comfort.  
"What happened to Daniel was a tragedy but his death wasn't your fault." Bobby voice was hoarse from the emotions he felt.  
"Wish my parents felt that way" buck said just loud enough for them to hear  
"Have you actually spoken to them since Maddie told you?" Athena asked in her motherly tone  
"No I don't think I can face them" buck didn't know if he would ever be able to face them again now he knew the truth.  
"Maybe it would be good to get it all out in the open. Athena and I can be with you if you want" Bobby assured the younger man. Buck nodded his head in agreement and sent a text message to his parents.  
A couple of hours buck and Bobby entered the lobby of buck's parents hotel. The meeting would take place in the hotel restaurant partly because it provides buck with a easy exit if one was needed. Margaret and Phillip were already waiting at there table when the waiter lead the two men over.  
"Evan I was surprised to receive you message, I thought you had said everything you had to say at dinner the other night" Phillip said in the same tone buck remembered hearing throughout his childhood whenever his father was angry which was more often than not  
"Hello I'm Bobby Nash your son's captain and friend" Bobby introduce himself while he and buck took their seats  
"Nice to met you captain Nash" Margaret said with politeness which was obviously fake  
"Nice to meet you too" Bobby replied in a effort to keep things civil  
"So what do you want?" Phillip asked impatiently  
"Maddie told me about Daniel" buck told his parents not sure of what kind of reaction he was expecting or hoping for but as soon as Margaret heard her dead son's name she began to cry and put her hand over her mouth in a attemp to hide her sobs.  
"She had no right to tell you" Phillip said as his face got red with anger.  
"She didn't plan on telling me but I found a photo of Daniel in her baby box" buck tried to defend sister.  
"That damm box" muttered Phillip under his breath  
"How much do you know?" Margaret asked once she had her emotions under control.  
"Maddie told me that Daniel was dying of Leukaemia and that you had because my cord blood could of saved him" buck said honestly  
"But it didn't, did it?" Phillip asked with barely controlled rage and buck felt his father's words like a physical blow  
"Phillip don't" Margaret pleaded with her husband  
"What? It's true Daniel's dead because evan's cord blood was as worthless as he is" Phillip said without a hint of remorse. Upon hearing this buck knew coming here had been a mistake so he got up from the table and left without a backwards glance.  
"How can you treat your son like that? It was a tragedy that Daniel died but buck isn't to blame" Bobby tried to reason with the older man because while he understood the anger Phillip felt over his son's fate, it still wasn't fair to blame buck for the bad luck of having a low stem cell count.  
"That maybe be true but Evan is just a burden we were stuck with" Margaret looked horrified at her husband's words but Bobby didn't stick around to ask her for a opinion because if he did, he would punch Phillip in the face for treating his son so badly. Once outside Bobby expected to see buck waiting in the car park but the younger man was nowhere in sight. Bobby felt a Knox of worry forming in his gut because after what Phillip Buckley had said there was no telling what kind of headspace buck was in or where he would go. For the next couple of hours Bobby drove around town checking out all the places he thought buck might be but buck was nowhere to be found. Bobby even started to text everyone on the team to see if anyone had heard anything but no one had. Eddie and Hen were confused about why Bobby was looking buck and Bobby didn't think it was to explain but Maddie and Chimney were just as worried as Bobby when Bobby texted them looking for buck, thinking that buck could be about to do something stupid to himself. Just as Bobby was about to give up, he received a text message from Eddie saying that buck was at his place and Bobby sighed in relief knowing that Eddie would take care of buck.  
After sending the text message Eddie grabbed two beers out of the fridge and heading back to buck who was sitting on his couch looking miserable.  
"Thanks"  
"No worries but do you want to explain why you turned up here in the middle of the night or why Bobby was looking for you?" Eddie asked in concerned because buck looked like hell.  
"Just didn't know where else to go" buck replied in a deadpan tone  
"Hey talk to me, what's going on?" Eddie pressed his best friend  
"I found out yesterday how worthless I am" buck confessed as he took another sip of beer  
"What are you talking about? You not worthless" Eddie said no know how buck could think that about himself  
"Oh yeah well I was conceived in a test tube so I would be able to save my brother who was dying of cancer and failed so how does that not make me worthless" buck snapped back. Eddie didn't have any words so just pulled his friend into a hug.

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think of this fic


End file.
